this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
