Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
