Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
