I just pynch a tree in the face
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I'd cum for enchiladas.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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