your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
