Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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