one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
