Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
