How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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