Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
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