u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
