This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
