Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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