I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
