so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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