I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
