found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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