thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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