yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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