how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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