At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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