i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Randomize
