Pappa wants mamma naked
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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