The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
