hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
