So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
