Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
