no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
