OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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