Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
