We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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