My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
