chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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