Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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