Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
