I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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