But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
