Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
