i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
