you traded sex for a burrito?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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