Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Swine flu is the new snow day.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
