I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Couch. On fire.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
