I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
