Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
