I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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