I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
