I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize
