A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
