just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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