She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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