I want to walk on stilts...naked
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
