Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
