He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
