dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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