So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
